Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
The feelings that come with a break up can feel unbearable at times. Learning to sit with our emotions and learn from them is a key process to heal. Another essential component is to have a sound support system around you.
Although made popular in the 1960’s, compliments of Neil Sedaka, these words that “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do” continue to hold weight today.
If you’ve ever experienced a treacherous breakup, you know the subsequent pain can surge over you in many and varying forms.
Frequently, you and your partner may not even be on the same page, one of you perhaps hoping and believing there is something to salvage. It can be tough to let go of one another, made doubly complicated by our tendency, as humans, to seek connection.
Often, breaking up with someone we love can manifest as feelings of loss.
This loss may not even be related to losing your partner but can also pertain to the loss of future dreams and plans associated with the relationship.
Sometimes these feelings of loss can be hard to recognize.
Within this chaos, it can become so easy to turn on ourselves; to place blame; to wonder why we weren’t good enough to make it work.
We punish ourselves for loving, for being committed, for putting our best efforts into something that seemingly fizzled before our eyes.
Wading through these emotions can make one feel like they are at sea, the loss washing over us in tremendous, crashing waves.
Resultantly, it can become so trying to have faith in ourselves, our own inner strength, and the resources we innately possess to prevail and, to somehow, allow ourselves to again be vulnerable and to love.
The healing process becomes clouded, hidden under the murkiness created out of this mix of feelings, often complicated by a magnification of symptoms we have been managing to deal with our entire lives: anxiety, depression, negative self-image, or any number of things.
I implore you not to lose faith, to have empathy for yourself and the pain you are feeling. If you are struggling to find direction amidst the overwhelm, don’t be afraid to lean on your support system; family, friends, co-workers.
If it is further support you seek, an advocate to help you illuminate the path towards healing and growth, I suggest reaching out to a mental health professional.
You will find an individual who can offer you another perspective, which isn’t clouded with bias.
This individual will provide you agency in choosing the best path forward.
Paige Keppler, T-LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Paige is truly an insightful
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