How To Set Boundaries

by | Jun 20, 2021

A lot of stress and anxiety comes from not knowing how to manage other people's expectations of us. Too often, we feel like we have to fulfill all these expectations out of fear of letting people down. However, part of developing a complete sense of self is to differentiate ourselves from unnecessary expectations by establishing boundaries.

How many times have you felt as though someone in your life has pushed you to your limits or made you feel very uncomfortable?

These might be examples of those people pushing your boundaries. Boundaries are the limits between you and another person. Healthy boundaries are set to help you become more mentally and emotionally stable.

They are a very critical component of self-care.

Setting a boundary can sometimes feel like an impossible task. Many people are resistant to change and can negatively react when you feel the need to place a boundary with them.

So how do you know when you are implementing boundaries? How will it feel when doing so? Over my time working with individuals, I have created a list of things that my clients have felt when choosing to set their boundaries with others:

  • It is not my job to fix others.
  • It is okay if others get angry.
  • It is okay to say NO.
  • It is not my job to take responsibility for others.
  • I do not have to anticipate the needs of others.
  • It is NOT my job to make people happy.
  • Nobody has to agree with me.
  • I HAVE a right to my OWN feelings.

Do not feel guilty for setting boundaries.

They are essential for our overall well-being, and just like we actively look to include other elements into our lives, like exercising and eating right, this is no different. It may take time, and that is fine, but your future self will appreciate the effort.

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